New Orleans French Quarter

I’ve wanted to write this post for a while. I spent the second weekend of March in New Orleans where I turned 30!

As the clock ticked towards March 14^th, I remembered Sex & The City. I definitely used my 20’s to make the mistakes, so I want my 30’s to be about learning the lessons. Lord willing, I’ll be buying the young girls drinks when I’m in my 40’s. I digress.

On my flight and the days leading up to my trip I began to think about all the things I had learned up to that point. I decided that I wanted to enter this decade of my life with purpose. So, I thought about the biggest lessons I’ve learned thus far. Let’s discuss!

1. Parents are people too. Growing up we tend to think our parents and other adults in our lives know everything. At least, that’s what I thought. I was wrong. That’s a lie, a big lie. As my 20’s progressed, I realized that the people who raised me are just people. I love them of course but they are fallible. They are human like everyone else. They have issues and insecurities. They can do things that are hurtful. They can do things that are selfish and inconsiderate. They don’t have all the answers. Hell, in some cases they might not have any answers which is okay too.

2. Some relationships have expiration dates. Just because someone has been in your life forever, that doesn’t mean they have to be in your life forever. Two years ago I had to let go of a friendship that I thought I would have forever. When I told my family, they said “but you’ve been friends forever.” While long friendships are a blessing, some times they need to end. In some cases you might need to make a business decision about a personal relationship. That’s what I did. I asked myself, “what is the value added?” In that friendship, not only did I no longer know what the value added was, keeping the friendship started feeling like a burden. Of course there are ups and down in every relationship. However, when there are only downs, it might be time to move on. Don’t be afraid to move on. 

3. Be your best advocate. The fact is: human nature is selfish. Remember “Flawless.” Remember, “We teach girls to shrink themselves.” Then, don’t shrink yourself. Find your voice. Use your voice to advocate for yourself. Advocate for yourself at work. Get the assignment you want. Get the position you want. Be deliberate. Advocate for yourself personally. This is something I’m still working on. I had to learn how to filter out the external voices in order to hear my own in some situations. I had to learn how to advocate for the treatment I want. I learned that no one is going to advocate for me, like me.

Are you at, near or over 30? What have you learned? What did you wish you would’ve learned sooner? Comment below and let me know!