Success at Mizzou has nothing to do with Black Friday

MIzzou

Hey Lovers,

By now I’m sure you’ve heard about the events going on at the University Of Missouri. If you haven’t heard more than sound bites, read about it here  and here.

I had heard about the football team’s boycott briefly. Since I’m not a sports fan of any kind, I usually only hear about anything sports related briefly. The story did not blow up until the football team’s efforts were successful. University President Tim Wolfe resigned.

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#ByeHot97

ABW

Hey Lovers have you heard? Yesterday Hot 97 reached a new low; even for Hot 97. If you didn’t see it, you can read about it here. Short story short, Hot 97 tweeted and later deleted the question: Do you believe Black women have an attitude problem? To add insult to injury, there was a picture of First Lady Michelle Obama. It’s shortly after midnight as I write this but I was so pissed I could not wait. Let’s discuss. 

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#ByeRachel

From Necole Bitchie

From Necole Bitchie

By now I’m sure you’ve heard about Ms. Rachel Dolezal. If you haven’t, you can read the full story here. My favorite part of this saga was the #AskRachel hashtag where Black people (including me) and Black Twitter tweeted things about Black culture like rap lyrics, hair issues and soulfood ingredients wondering if Rachel was abreast of them since she “identifies” as Black. Think pieces followed the hashtags, as we knew they would. 
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#ByeNancy

Hey Lovers, 

It seems like just last week we were saying #ByePhylicia. Wait. . .that was last week. Anyway, last week I got a text that said 2 Chainz was on Nancy Grace. I looked at my phone. Then looked again and again. I kept thinking to myself “2 Chainz on Nancy Grace, that shouldn’t be a thing.” I later found out that 2 Chainz appeared on Nancy Grace to “debate” her about the legalization of marijuana. If you haven’t heard, Denver legalized marijuana. You must be over 21, you cannot drive under the influence or smoke in public. If you haven’t seen the interview check Rolling Stone.

Whenever I hear that rappers are going to appear on “news” shows I get nervous; very nervous. I have flashbacks to Cam’ron on Bill O’Reily. The only thing funnier than Nancy Grace attempting to recite 2 Chainz lyrics was the way 2 Chainz gave Ms. Grace a college educated read.  Continue reading

RNC Wrap Up

Hey Lovers, 

This post is by request. Shout to Ms. AJ for wanting to hear my thoughts on last week’s Republican National Convention. I watched every night during “prime time.” Actually I’m not really sure if it was prime time in the world since I just watched when MSNBC began its live coverage. The DNC is this week and I’m sure we’ll have a lot to discuss there but let’s reflect on the events of Tampa Florida and the GOP. 

  • Ann Romney. Clearly Ann Romney was auditioning for the View. Her speech was irrelevant. You met your husband at a high school dance and you still love him, so what? The GOP is so out of touch they think she killed it but you and I know she’s not qualified to speak on any topic other than being a rich guy’s wife. Am I the only one who found it a bit insulting that she only discussed women in terms of our relationship to others? Every female is a daughter and a granddaughter. That’s not special. I think her speech was better suited for a 65th birthday or 40th wedding anniversary. I’ll be okay if I never here from Mrs. Brady, I mean Ann Romney again. 
  • Chris Christie. Christie and I are alums of the same law school, I hope you won’t think less of me for that. Isn’t it clear that he was bullied as a child? It may not be clear but that’s my guess. Why else would his mother tell him it was okay if people don’t love him? Mrs. Brady, I mean Ann Romney gave a speech all about love. Christie comes out 4 minutes later and says ***k love, am I the only one who found this strange? Dear GOP, I’m available. Hire me for your messaging. 
  • Gov. Kasich. I liked Ohio Gov. Kasich. He reminds me of the drunk guy in the bar who wants to high five everyone for reasons only known to him. I liked his enthusiasm but that still doesn’t want to make me go to Ohio. 

Can someone please tell me where Condi & Nikki Haley shop? I’m only asking because I may need to pre-order my next Easter suit. I feel badly for Condi, she doesn’t have any real friends. They let her go on stage with lipstick on her teeth. If we had no way to fact check her speech, it would have been really good.

Also, did y’all catch how Condi got to start “Minority Hour?” After Condi Rice and the Governor of New Mexico all that was missing was Margaret Chow (gay Asian) to make sure every demographic was covered.   

For all of you who didn’t understand what I meant when I said we must watch our grandparents, Youtube Clint Eastwood’s performance. I’m going to need Reince Prebus to do better. You can’t expect to get young voters on your side by bringing out someone who people under 30 only know for saying “get off my lawn.”  While we’re on the subject of grandparents, were you afraid like I was when McCain spoke? I lost count but I’m pretty sure he advocated for like 3 new wars. Either he has Alzheimer’s or. . .no that’s actually the only way his speech would make sense. 

Sir Mittens was cute too, in a “I’d believe this if I didn’t know better way.” The only line that was really lost on me was the one about climate change. I thought he was trying to make a Jesus joke. I guess I’m not the voter he was trying convince with that line since I’m from a world where science, creative writing and religion are different college departments. By college I mean, NOT Liberty University.

Overall I think last week’s winner is President Obama. I imagined him texting Jay-Z as that Clint Eastwood segment was going on saying something like “Can you and Yeezy remix ‘n199as in Paris’ for the DNC?”

Am I being too hard on the GOP? Let me know!  

Ignorance Defense

Today I was on the train and I saw something amazing. Well. . .amazing in my opinion. Do you remember back when the bright young minds of Brooklyn Tech showed the fools of Westboro Baptist Church how it really goes down in Brooklyn? If you need to refresh your memory, read the Brooklyn Tech story here: http://fort-greene.thelocal.nytimes.com/2009/09/24/students-turn-out-and-westboro-leaves/

I thought of that story today. I was on the train and a woman stood in the middle of the car wearing a sandwich board, yes, a sandwich board that said gay marriage is one of the reasons why Jesus is coming. Another passenger asked her why she chose to deliver the word in such a way. The passenger went to on to say that she too does street ministry and she shares what Jesus has done for her. She wanted to know who told the woman in the sandwich board to wear a sandwich board with such an offensive message . I was happy I had a front row seat to what was sure to be an epic debate. Instead of answering the passenger with some scripture or logic, the sandwich board wearer literally turned her back and left. She left just like Westboro Baptist after the Brooklyn Tech students gave them a taste of their own medicine.

As I said “amen” to the passenger upon my exit, I began to wonder how come people don’t defend their ignorant positions? If you believe something so strongly you’re wearing a sandwich board, shouldn’t you be able to answer a question about the sandwich board? I would imagine that when a conviction compels you to wear a sandwich board, hold a sign, pay for a billboard or anything else, you wouldn’t mind answering questions.

Today I was proven wrong. While I don’t like to be wrong, I loved witnessing a supposed zealot fold faster than Superman on Laundry Day.

Other People’s Money

Santorum's sweater vest

As if thinking sweater vests were still okay wasn’t bad enough, Rick Santorum recently received 10,000 side eyes for his comment on Fox News about not wanting to make Black peoples’ lives better by giving them someone else’s money. If you didn’t see the footage, watch it here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/03/rick-santorum-entitlements-black-people_n_1181212.html. After seeing this, I began to think. Is Santorum against giving away other people’s money in all cases? Let’s explore.

Gifts 

Did you get a nice crisp bill or check from Grandma for Christmas? If you’re one of my Black readers you may want to return it. According to Ricky Sandstorm; I mean Santorum, having other people’s money isn’t the way to feel good about yourself. Tell Grandma you still love her but you want to be self-reliant and taking gifts from her doesn’t fit with that.

Inheritance

If you don’t think taking other people’s money after they die makes people feel good Google “Paris Hilton.” Since inheritance is one of the main ways wealthy people become and remain wealthy I’m guessing Anti-Santa, I mean Santorum, is okay with it. But, if we go on his same logic about making people feel good with other people’s money, Santorum should be fighting for a 100% inheritance tax. After all we wouldn’t someone who inherited money becoming famous because the only thing of note they’ve ever done is call Lindsay Lohan a “fire crotch.” Wait, that already happened? Never mind. If you don’t remember Google “Brandon Davis.”

Life Insurance

Life insurance is other people’s money. A lot of other people. Like welfare the money came from people the beneficiary doesn’t even know. Lost a spouse, parent or anyone else who would name you beneficiary? Get ready to work through  grief at work because I’m guessing Santorum wouldn’t want you having the comfort of feeling good about yourself because “someone else” paid money during their lives intended to benefit you once they died.

Brown, White, Yellow & Red

Santorum said didn’t want Blacks feeling good about themselves because of welfare. Well, what about all the Asians, Native Americans, Latinos, and, hold your breath, Whites getting welfare too? Are they special because they’re not Black or are they just Welfare Princesses and the example has to be made of only the Welfare Queens?

As if you couldn’t tell by now none of this makes any logical sense. I’d Rick to first think about the loyalty of whoever told him sweater vests are still acceptable in 2012. Then he can move on to the really hard things; like talking without sounding like an old school bigot. If we learned nothing else from Herman Brought the Pain Cain and Clarence Thomas we learned that in this day an age, racism has to be high tech. Or maybe Santorum got his racism from the same era when sweater vests were in style. Either way, I’ve had more than enough of him and his ancient ideas.