Dear Ray-J

Ray-J Kim K

Dearest Ray-J,

I can’t say I’m a fan but then again, who can? From your most recent stunt it’s clear you need someone with sense to speak to you and I’m happy to do it!

The title of your upcoming single “I hit it first” with a pixelated picture of Kim Kardashian really baffles me. Why do you feel the need to diss a pregnant woman?

Have you heard of Kenya Moore? Google her and read about the “Kenya Moore Problem” here fact you feel the need to make a song about your pregnant ex-girlfriend literally 10 years after the fact let’s me know you’re not having great ideas this year. 

Let’s review a few things in case you don’t get my post. The video was made in 2003 and released in 2007. You’ve done several reality shows since that time. Kim K has done at least 99 seasons of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and its various spin offs as well as Dancing With the Stars. You were rumored to have messed with a singing show contestant as well as the late great Whitney Houston. Kim has dated Reggie Bush, her bodyguard and Miles Austin. Her second marriage started & ended and we know her status with Kanye West. Do you see where I’m going? You’ve both done plenty of living since your split.

I also have an issue  with the actual title “I hit it first” sounds like something a rapper would say when he’s talking about how easily he smutted Erica Mena after buying her 3 glasses of Moscato. You and Kim K were in a relationship and as the video shows, in edition to hitting it first you also beat it raw and ate it first too. Don’t act tough now; we have receipts .  

To end this I’m just going to give you a couple recommendations. You can thank me later. 

  1. Find a church home. You’ll do better if you walk with the Lord.
  2. Try to host parties. On your reality show you claimed you made $1 million a year from hosting parties. Your recent actions show that you’re probably best suited for jobs that don’t require too many words to leave your mouth.
  3. Find a hook or feature. I’m sure there’s a rapper or singer somewhere who would let you sing a hook for him or her. I was watching Love & Hip Hop and both Olivia and L’oreal are available.
  4. Talk to your sisterBrandy fell off for a while but now she’s back with another album as well as roles on TV and in movies. Find out how she did what she did. 
  5. Get a journal. Every disrespectfully salacious thought you have isn’t for your Garageband App, write it down; you’ll feel better. 

If you have any questions feel free to DM me @RantRaveRandom. 

Houston Problems


Hey Lovers, 

No one told me The Houstons was on yesterday. That fact tells me y’all are done with the Houstons. I’m done with them too. Let’s discuss why! 

  • Krissy: I’m not gonna go too hard on Krissy because it’s clear she needs help. I don’t know what kinda weed or pills Krissy is on but it’s clear she’s not with us. I think it’s just a matter of time before we see Krissy on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.” I just want Krissy to get her head and wig in order. 
  • Nick: I have so many questions about Nick. Here are just a few. Where is his real family? Why is he getting brother/sister tattoos with the girl he calls his fiancee? When is he coming out the closet?
  • Raya: It’s clear from Raya’s interviews that she wants a spin off and I’m not here for it. 
  • Pat: I think Pat means well but she’s not dealing with reality. Krissy isn’t checking for her. My main wishes for Aunt Pat are that she use Dr. Miracle’s Temple & Nape grease, get a new makeup artist and stops all the fronting. 
  • Uncle Ray & Uncle Gary: Both the uncles give me “I used to smoke crack but now I just drink.”  
  • Sissy: Ms. Sissy Houston gives me life. I love the fact she knows how to text. She gives me ol’ school Black grandmother which resonates with me because I have an ol’ school Black grandmother.  

I like a messy show just like the rest of you but The Houstons are a little bit too broken for the show to be a guilty pleasure. Overall, I think The Houstons need to reevaluate because this show is not going to cut it. 

What do you think about The Houstons? Comment below and let me know!