Dear Ray-J

Ray-J Kim K

Dearest Ray-J,

I can’t say I’m a fan but then again, who can? From your most recent stunt it’s clear you need someone with sense to speak to you and I’m happy to do it!

The title of your upcoming single “I hit it first” with a pixelated picture of Kim Kardashian really baffles me. Why do you feel the need to diss a pregnant woman?

Have you heard of Kenya Moore? Google her and read about the “Kenya Moore Problem” here fact you feel the need to make a song about your pregnant ex-girlfriend literally 10 years after the fact let’s me know you’re not having great ideas this year. 

Let’s review a few things in case you don’t get my post. The video was made in 2003 and released in 2007. You’ve done several reality shows since that time. Kim K has done at least 99 seasons of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and its various spin offs as well as Dancing With the Stars. You were rumored to have messed with a singing show contestant as well as the late great Whitney Houston. Kim has dated Reggie Bush, her bodyguard and Miles Austin. Her second marriage started & ended and we know her status with Kanye West. Do you see where I’m going? You’ve both done plenty of living since your split.

I also have an issue  with the actual title “I hit it first” sounds like something a rapper would say when he’s talking about how easily he smutted Erica Mena after buying her 3 glasses of Moscato. You and Kim K were in a relationship and as the video shows, in edition to hitting it first you also beat it raw and ate it first too. Don’t act tough now; we have receipts .  

To end this I’m just going to give you a couple recommendations. You can thank me later. 

  1. Find a church home. You’ll do better if you walk with the Lord.
  2. Try to host parties. On your reality show you claimed you made $1 million a year from hosting parties. Your recent actions show that you’re probably best suited for jobs that don’t require too many words to leave your mouth.
  3. Find a hook or feature. I’m sure there’s a rapper or singer somewhere who would let you sing a hook for him or her. I was watching Love & Hip Hop and both Olivia and L’oreal are available.
  4. Talk to your sisterBrandy fell off for a while but now she’s back with another album as well as roles on TV and in movies. Find out how she did what she did. 
  5. Get a journal. Every disrespectfully salacious thought you have isn’t for your Garageband App, write it down; you’ll feel better. 

If you have any questions feel free to DM me @RantRaveRandom. 


By now you’ve probably heard about Kanye West’s new song “Theraflu” first brought to us by the Big Dog Pitbull (I don’t know if he still uses that line but just roll with me) Funkmaster Flex. The song is with DJ Khaled and produced by the same genius who brought us N*99a$ in Paris. If you haven’t heard it click: to listen. The addicting beat is not what brings me to write about this. The mass amount of shade is. 

As someone who is an avid reality TV junkie and hip hop fan I think I can provide some analysis to people who are only one or the other. Let’s discuss! 

I really think this song should have been called “Nyquil” because I needed a deep sleep after Kanye spit the following:

And the whole industry wanna fuck yo’ old chick
Only nigga I got respect for is Wiz
And I’ll admit, I fell in love with Kim
‘Round the same time she had fell in love wit’ him
Well, that’s cool, baby girl, do ya thing
Lucky I ain’t have Jay drop ‘im from the team
La familia, Roc Nation

For those of you who aren’t rap, sports or reality fans allow me to catch you up. Kanye is admitting he fell in love (read: had sexual relations) with E! Reality Star Kim Kardashian while she was falling for Kris Humphries. Kanye then goes on to say Kris is lucky he didn’t have his BFF and my Brooklyn Brother Jay-Z drop him from the Nets. While you may know Jay-Z is part owner of the Nets, before Kim Kardashian, you may not have not known that Kris Humphries plays for the Nets. The “old chick” Kanye mentioned at the beginning is Philly native, former stripper Amber Rose who is now madly in love with Used Q-tip Wiz Khalifa but there were whispers of a brief tryst with none other than Kim’s ex Reggie Bush. 

I have a few theories about all of this. Now that Amber has “verified” Kim was sexting Kanye while they were an item, I’m thinking the whole Reggie & Amber thing might have been a bit of that sweet nectar known as revenge. Well played Ms. Rose; well played. 

After watching so many episodes of the Kardashians on E! I’ll admit, I was very confused after hearing “Theraflu.” From the show it’s clear that Kim will let her pap smear be filmed if she (and her mother) think it will keep her relevant. We also know Kim has an affinity for “dark meat” from her long romance with Reggie Bush. Let us not forget she got “on” by making a sex tape with Brandy’s brother. I thought to myself, why would she marry an unknown, funny looking, racially ambiguous, basketball player from Minnesota if she could’ve had Kanye “Been Crazy” West? I don’t know about you but I’d much rather double date with Jay-Z & Beyonce than Kris Humphries dumpy looking sister. 

My theory is, Kim knows Kanye probably wouldn’t be willing or able to participate in a wedding special and the never ending Kardashian spin offs. I also have the sneaking suspicion her thirst ego wouldn’t allow her to be less famous than her significant other. After all, while Kanye West is crazy like a fox, he’s famous for doing something and Kim calls club appearances “work.”  

Out of this whole thing, I think Amber Rose may be the winner. She tried to turn her 15 minutes of fame into 15 and a half with those songs she made and she’s clearly happy in her current relationship with the anorexic pothead Wiz Khalifa. Good for you Amber, keep living the stripper American Dream.

I think Kanye needs to switch up his meds. On the “Deuces” remix he told us Jay-Z finally convinced him not to run his mouth so when anyone asks who, he doesn’t know who they’re talking about. But last night, he talked about several people who no one else was talking about. We know Kanye has the power to pluck women from obscurity and make them known to all of us after he takes them to Fashion Week, dumps them then raps about them but gets upset when people ask him about it interviews. Let’s just keep him away from Magic City, King of Diamonds and Sue’s Rendezvous (those are strip clubs for those of you who are unaware). This bitter ex role is not what I want from him. While it is entertaining, I feel like he’s one melt down away from going “Chris Brown.” I want the “George Bush doesn’t like Black people” Kanye back.