Love & Hip Hop ATLiens

Picture from VH1

Picture from VH1

Hey Lovers, 

Monday night my social life impacted my social media life so I was unable to watch Love & Hip Hop live with you. Then my router died; it’s all too much, I know. 

Let me begin by letting you know that this episode really drained me. Honestly, if it was not for all my beautiful readers I am not sure that I would’ve been able to endure the entire episode.

I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but I really need Shay the hoodrat bandit to go. Every week her attitude and weave get worse and I’m not here for it.

I am sure we still agree that Baby Bop and the Redbone need to go too. I don’t understand how Baby Bop claims to be over Redbone when about 5 episodes ago we saw her try to fight some random girl and later gave him 25 racks for his wannabe Jimmy Jazz dream. I don’t understand why Redbone was wearing Lil Wayne’s outfit with George Jefferson’s jacket. I don’t understand why Baby Bop’s boyfriend was wearing a hooded vest. I don’t understand what club would hire both of them for the same night. The only thing I understand is why that club was so empty. 

 

As far as Scrappy going to jail, is anyone surprised? I am glad Ms. Mona showed the scene with his daughter. Maybe some of the dudes who are watching VH1 and not reporting to their probation officers are paying attention to how that kind of nonsense impacts children. While I am glad we saw that scene did it not break your heart when Emani said something about her friend who went to see his father in jail? As much as I am tempted to go on rant about Black America as a result of that scene; I won’t. By the way, am I the only one NOT surprised that Mama Dee has been to jail?

I had a comment about Mimi & Michelle’s meeting but their meeting was so boring I forgot.

Do you see it for Joseline & Stevie J in a “normal” relationship? I know a pig is pork but I don’t know what Stevie J is. I’ve said before that Joseline needs to give lessons because she went from strip club jump off to demanding a proposal. It actually amazes me. A couple weeks ago, Media Takeout “reported” that Joseline & Stevie J tied the night in Puerto Rico. If that is in fact true, I know we will all be tuned in because I’m sure the Molly the Maid shade will be at epic levels. 

I’m glad we didn’t see or hear from Ariane and Karline. Do we agree, they’re not missed?

Benzino and Kirk really  tap danced on my last good nerve with their fake country weekend. First of all, I didn’t know Bobby Valentino liked women so his appearance surprised me. Is he still in the music business? If not, he needs to call Tiarra Marie to see how she got the “unemployed friend” role on the NY cast. The sight of that pile of Walmart looking panties on the card table almost made me physically sick. Am I the only one who got the sense that Mary Jane was on Molly? She had to be on something if she wanted to menage with Kirk’s tired ass. I had to pause my DVR to figure out who was wearing a furry snapback in Georgia. I shouldn’t have been surprised that it was Bambi but I was. Bambi lost what little shimmer she did have by putting her lips on Benzino. That whole house was an orgy of mediocrity and poor ideas.

This episode makes me look forward to the season finale because I really do not know how much more I can endure.

Did you watch? What did you think? Comment below and let me know!

    

  

 

 

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Love & Heart Attack Atlanta

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Okay Lovers it’s been awhile so let me say “how you doin’?” in my best Wendy Williams voice. As you may or may not know studying for the bar exam really ruins everything. It’s not like that beer commercial. Anyway, I digress. I’m writing now in hopes that this post will help lower my blood pressure which is through the roof thanks to that ghetto display we just witnessed on VH1. Let’s discuss 

  • Mimi & Stevie J. Mimi claims she has been with Stevie for 15 years but he was with Eve 12 years ago but hey I guess everything is all good when you’re in the music industry. Mimi is clearly an older read “mature” woman. I’m no mind reader but I’m pretty sure that if your man can’t get it right after 15 years, he doesn’t intend to get it right. 15 years is longer than most marriages, Mimi listen to your friend Ariane & do better. Stevie J, must be on the down slide. Did y’all see how the studio is in a gas station? 
  • Joseline. Joseline is the Somaya of this show except she makes me miss the real Somaya. Whoever is in charge of production should’ve gotten Joseline those accent reduction lessons that Julissa took on Empire Girls because I didn’t know that poor soul was saying. Side point: Why does she never wear pants but loves furs? She had on those Princess Jasmine sheer things when they met LA Reid’s son & in the club she claimed that pink bathmat was from Neiman’s. Maybe Stevie J should send her back to the strip club because life among regular people clearly isn’t for her. Between the Natalie Nunn chin, Rihanna wig and Katt Stacks accent in her mouth I was done with her from minute 1. 
  • Karline. Aren’t you a bit old to be trying to rap? Secondly how are you Trini giving us Jamaican rhymes? You know what? Mi dun know. . . 
  • Mama Dee. I really thought they wouldn’t be  able to top the crackish antics of Mama Jones but Lord, I was wrong. I knew Mama Dee was trouble when she said someone tried to f*** with “no grease.” Not lube; grease. That must be a country thing shawty. I think Mama Dee should be careful since I’m guessing she’s still on probation from the pimpin’ and dope dealing. Unlike Nicki Minaj, Mama Dee really beez in the trap.  
  • Erica. Erica appears to be Emily B Lite. I don’t understand how she says Diamond was an “affair.” Diamond was at their daughter’s birthday party. I thought it was only an affair when you’re married. But I guess she’s using Evelyn Lozada’s dictionary. I’m not knocking Diamond’s hustle, according to Mama Dee she got a new booty out the deal and upgraded to Soulja Boy. You know, someone with a couple hit singles. Maybe Erica should get Scrappy to buy her an ass so she can snag a man who actually wants to be with her. Her chances of becoming Mrs. Scrappy Merlot Jones don’t look too high. 
  • K. Michelle. I don’t know who this person is. Well, I don’t know who 99% of these people are. But what I do know is that her alleged attacker is none other than the step father of Baby Carter. . .Memphitz. What I do know is K. Michelle needs a lawyer, a therapist, and an accountant because if you can get your ass whooped and lose $2million you need new people. Side note: Where do I submit my resume for Memphitz’s old job? I want someone to leave me unattended with $2million. 
  • Rasheeda. I don’t know how I know Rasheeda other than the “bedrock” remix but she’ll be joining the cast soon. I want to know how you still rap when you’re a grandmother. My grandmother introduces herself as “Grandma” and bakes pies. Rasheeda remixed a song and told us she gets wetter than a lake. Don’t know what I mean? Check: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43dTGyi-Hm8 Lord only knows what her story line is. 

This show is too much for my blood pressure. Next week I’ll be half watching because my heart can’t take all the staged ghetto antics. VH1 has really outdone itself. Would you ever think a show would make us miss the Basketball Wives (east & west Coast) & the original Love & Hip Hop?

Did I miss anything? Let me know. You can always follow the randomness on Twitter @RantRaveRandom!