Catfish

 

Hey Lovers,

I know we have a lot to watch on Monday nights as it is between BBWLA, Teen Mom 2 and which ever Housewives are on Bravo currently. If you have the energy or DVR, I’d like to bring a new show to your attention. It airs Mondays at 11PM after Teen Mom 2 on MTV. It’s called Catfish. It’s based on the 2012 movie of the same name. The show is hosted by the guy from the movie and he’s helping people meet their online “loves.”

Monday we met a 21 year old girl from Arkansas. Don’t worry, I don’t know where Arkansas is either. She had been in a “relationship” with someone named RJ who allegedly lived in LA, was a model, wrote cue cards for Chelsea Handler and was taking online anesthesiology classes. I didn’t know University of Phoenix even had a medical school but these days you never know. The girl had never seen her “love.” She never Skyped or Facetimed with the modeling, cue card writing online medical student. 

Long story short, they take the girl to meet her online “boyfriend.” Come to find out her “boyfriend” wasn’t even a boy. RJ was Chelsea an 18 year old butch lesbian virgin who smugly claimed that she used that fake Facebook account to have tons of relationships with unsuspecting girls. Apparently the aforementioned butch lesbian got bullied in high school and is using the Internet to get some kind of revenge. Honestly, I tuned out for the “it gets better” segment.

There’s something hilarious about seeing people find out that their “relationships” don’t really exist. From the preview, next Monday’s episode is going to be amazing; amazingly messy. On Monday we will meet a synthetic wig & black lip liner wearing stripper who is waiting to meet her online beau who is also a stripper. Once there’s a synthetic wig and a stripper reality TV gold is sure to follow, remember Joseline?

Have you seen Catfish? Will you be watching? Comment below and let me know.    

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HoliDaze

I’m glad that you all have survived the holidays. I don’t know about you but I am kind of glad the Holiday Season is over and everyone is still in one piece. Below are just a few of my random thoughts about the holidays. As you read please keep in mind that I always wish I will be normal in my next life.

Timing
I think they group the major holidays together because a lot of people need nearly 12 full months to recover. Imagine if Christmas was really on Jesus’s birthday which some claim is in September and we left Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve in place. I don’t know about you but that’s way too spread out which means there’s a greater chance of bad things happening. When I say “bad things” I mean bad family related things which brings us to the next and most stressful topic.

Family

Few things turn normally sane and rational people into irrational borderline homicidal maniacs than the Holidays. Whether it’s the logistics of which dinner is going to be at whose house or which trifling, always empty handed, annoying, lazy, etc. [insert whichever adjective applies to your people here] relative is going to show up, the holidays can bring out the best and worst in us all. It’s really a miracle I didn’t have my very own episode of Intervention after my grandmother called me hysterically last year saying the turkey was missing. The turkey was not in fact missing but apparently the mere hint that turkey was not present and accounted for sent Grandma into a tizzy. At that moment and this moment, I am not for random tizzy throwing . With the combination of mind altering substances used to numb the pain of family gatherings and family members who don’t know when to say when, it’s no wonder violent crime increases during the holidays.

Holiday Parties (Rave!)
I love holiday parties. They’re usually great break from relatives and a good place to get the libations which I’ll surely need after a full day of my grandmother’s antics. Another reason why holiday parties are great is because they’re elective. If you don’t want to attend just tell the host you can’t get away from your family or you have another event to attend. All in all anything that just requires me to look cute and show up always wins; not to mention holiday libations are always delicious. Candy Cane cocktail with sugar around the rim? Yes, I’ll take 2.

Facebook
Facebook gets really annoying around the holidays; especially New Year’s Eve. There’s always that person (or people depending on how selective you are) who claim they’re gonna murder everything in the New Year. Let’s have an honest moment. If you haven’t killed anything in your previous years on earth the New Year probably won’t be any different. Maybe these people would be able to make things happen if they concentrated on making things happen instead of writing about it.
Random/Rave
The Facebook photos of babies in their “My first Christmas” or “Mommy’s gift” onesies are adorable 99% of the time and don’t bother me one bit.

Finally, (random) am I the only one who says brief prayers for those people who don’t families to gather with on holidays but instead want to invite you to some random thing on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day? It’s like, Girl, I love you but I’m not getting myself written out of the family will because I’m trying to play Taboo with your lonely ass while my people are having dinner; let’s save all that for the after party.

Are you in a Holidaze? Let me know!