Love & Hot Mess Hollywood Episode 5



Hey Lovers, 

It’s been a long, long time. I’ve missed you. The Devil stole both my power cords which left me with 2 computers and no power cords. The Devil is liar. Anyway, because I love you, I’ve watched episodes 5 & 6 of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood multiple times. Let’s discuss!  

Can we begin by having a moment of silence for Hazel’s struggle braids? Now, that that’s over, I would like to send Hazel a mirror and a map. She seems to be confused about her station in life and with Yung Berg. I also need to know who is on her “team” and how they maintain having a job with no duties and no salary. Imagine if you met someone who said they worked for her. You would leave. 

We’ve already discussed Omarion’s denim blouse. It hits my retina way too hard. As for his mom, Ms. Leslie clearly let that Jazzing rinse penetrate the blood-brain barrier. Nothing she says makes sense. I also need to know why Omarion wasn’t born in a hospital. I know they had them back then, we’re the same age. 

Am I the only one who found it weird that Teairra’s relationship was secret? If it was so intense why does she care that anyone knew? I was wondering who Teairra Mari’s dating; words said by no one ever. While we’re on the subject let’s just send a RIP to Hot 97. They used to be the greatest and now they’re “revealing” D Listers’ secrets and selling waist trainers on Instagram. When the sun don’t shine, the sun don’t shine. 

VH1 plays too much. They had Teairra and Nicki drinking water out of champagne glasses in that nail salon. Speaking of Nicki, I need to know whether she’s the pimp or the oldest ho. From Ray J’s shoot I couldn’t tell. I also can’t tell if her boobs ever met each other. Why was she so pressed to speak to Morgan? Stevie Wonder could see that she isn’t on her first face.  I can’t be the only one wondering why there was no Dax or Sport & Wave on set for Ray J’s video shoot. His fade was as dry as Nicki’s weave; I digress. 

I’m trying to understand how Moneice has so many industry friends but no address. It really baffles me. She can miss me until she gets a custody hearing. She’s out here giving advice as if she has anything to offer. 

Please comment below and tell me who is in the market for a Ray-J wife beater. He had Morgan packing those boxes for nothing. 

I love Morgan’s backstory and wish that we would see more of those kinds of scenes. I just can’t see any more of Yesi Ortiz. She reminds me of the girl who gets the reaching pole in Cliquers or Pretty Girl to hand you $9 mesh THOT leggings.  

Finally can you please explain the Mally Molester-Mesika-Nicki confrontation scene to me? I’ve watched the episode at least 3 times and I still can’t figure out what the hell that was. Mally opened that door looking like a sex offender talking a bunch of tired s*** and Nicki walked in looking like Inflatable Barbie as if she was killing the scene. She was killing me with that dry ass weave and that prosthetic ass.

They completely drained me. What did you think of last week’s episode? Comment below and let me know.   

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