For those of you who know me, you know I’ve been in school for about 100 years. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older or because school has gotten progressively more expensive. Following are just a few of my thoughts on things that should NOT be done in classrooms.

• Don’t eat smelly food. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I understand that many times you’re running from class to class or class to work, etc but if you need to eat in class please pick something that is REASONABLE. It always amazes me how people think it’s appropriate to eat an egg sandwich, Philly cheese steak, fish, cabbage or whatever other smelly food they can dream up in a crowded classroom. I can’t even listen to what the professor is saying because I’m fantasizing about how much I want to snatch that cheese steak from your hand, onions and all and throw it and you out of the classroom for being so ridiculously inconsiderate.
• Don’t sit front and center if you plan on being late regularly. You know yourself, if you give yourself 30 minutes to get to class and live at least 35 minutes away, middle of the front row 5 people in is NOT the place for you. Repeatedly showing up late while trying to inconspicuously slide into your seat is the weekday version of a walk of shame. Don’t let it be you.
• Don’t take crowded classes if you don’t bathe regularly. What has the rest of the class done to you that you’re making them smell your ever accumulating funk? It’s unfair.
• Don’t let your child sit in someone’s seat. I understand that you may want Boo Boo to see what you’re learning or daycare may be closed however, I don’t care how cute your child is, they didn’t pay for that seat, your classmate did. You may be thinking that’s a bit harsh, it is. You know what else is harsh, this tuition, keep Junior out of other people’s space.
• Don’t skip class if you’ve been warned it’s your turn to speak, lead, present, etc. I’m all for taking a mental health day however taking that day when you’re on the hot seat is not the right behavior for this world. I was placed in this situation a few weeks ago. The other person who was supposed to be on call with me skipped class though we were told we would be called on. I was prepared so answering the professor’s questions wasn’t really a big deal. My issue with not showing up instead of just saying you plan to skip class is that appears to be kind of passive aggressive and I prefer regular aggressive.
• Do keep your feet in your shoes. It’s bad enough I’ve attended school in 2 states where people wear flip flops for far too long, now people are removing their shoes. A couple weeks ago I saw someone in class remove her shoes then let them hang into the aisle. Besides the obvious rudeness, the polish on her toenails looked like someone had chewed it. When people do things like this it makes me wish we really could vote people off the “island.”
• Do NOT watch porn or anything else objectionable. Well, I guess I mean don’t expect no one to realize you’re browsing such material during class. If you’re ok with people giving you the side eye because you’re watching anime porno, disregard this.

Did I miss anything? If so, let me know!