I Watched the Throne

The brief point when Yeezy took off the skants or dants I'm not sure what to call them

Monday night I saw Jay-Z and Kanye West at the Garden. Below is a little recap with some of my random thoughts that you love. . .

Celeb sightings:

  • Russell Simmons
  • Diddy
  • Fabolous

D List sightings:

  • Cheetah Girl Adrienne, used to date Rob Kardashian Bailon
  • Emily, baby mother to Fab, ‘star’ of Love & Hip Hop, B.
  • AJ used to host 106 & Park Calloway
  • Beyonce’s sister, Solange (with her son & boyfriend in tow)
  • Cassie used to be a model, tries to sing and is now Diddy’s toy

The ticket said showtime was 7:30, please arrive 1 hour early. There was no opening act and no DJ to warm up the crowd. As you can imagine by 9PM when there was NOTHING going on except for applause when Diddy walked through with a big ass entourage, I was ready to hurt someone.
One thing I loved about seeing Jay-Z in the past was all the guest appearances usually whoever is in town like Swizz Beatz or Diddy. Last night there were no guest appearances. None, not one. The only person I didn’t want to see is Beyonce because I’m uninterested in her unless she planned to do single ladies in her leotard while showing the baby bump.

Both Jay and ‘Ye wore their customized shirts. Jay-Z wore his all black everything. If they are not in Illuminati, they’re definitely trying to make us think that they are. One of the shirts had the Goat of Mendes on it which is said to be an Illuminati symbol.

Leggings. . . Kanye saw Lil Wayne’s jeggings and raised him a leather wrap skirt or perhaps dress. Please tell a friend to tell a friend that this does NOT need to become a trend. When ‘Ye changed into a regular pair of pants then later put the leather legging wrap skirt concoction back on with some kinda Mayan Azetec 2012 looking jacket, shirt combo I almost died. Cross dressing cannot become a new trend. I still have not recovered from the LV coin purses that are now being rocked by men. I’m blaming that on Chris Brown. I digress. . .

We must unite against this!

Song Selection
I was pleased that they did all the Watch the Throne songs including my favorite “niggas in Paris” which they did like 3 and a half times. They each did some of their most popular songs. They both took it way back. . like College Drop Out, Reasonable Doubt way back which was amazing. You can tell who the real fans were. Everyone know 99 problems but who can tell who is who by who if you can finish the line from “I’m from the other side where other guys don’t walk too much. . .” or “I wear a G on my chest I don’t need. . . ”

While Kim Porter has Diddy’s kids it appears, Cassie gets the good concert tickets. She was two steps behind him with her horse looking ponytailed Mohawk invention.
Solange is a Carol’s Daughter spokesperson. You’d think she would’ve used some Hair Milk on that nappy natural hair of her’s. Her son needs a haircut too. If she’s going to live in Brooklyn she needs to do as Brooklynites do. She should get his haircut and get those waves spinning, crazy hair on little Black kids is only ok in Gap commercials.
While Emily says in the Love & Hip Hop preview that she’s done with Fab, last night she was so close to him you would’ve thought she was his security. Oh I forgot, she’s his stylist. Interestingly enough, on Love & Hip Hop she claimed Cheetah girl and Chipped Tooth smashed. Yet, last night she was standing right behind Fab while he yucked it up with the Kardashian ex.

The Crowd
It appears that Jay and ‘Ye have priced out the Black and Brown masses. Good seats were $250. Prime seats were $300. There were so many guidos, guidettes, dude bros, and old folks in there I thought I was trapped in a retirement community staffed by Jersey Shore rejects. If you need an app to find the names of each song, you’re probably at the wrong concert ::I’m just sayin’::

My favorite: HGM (Hot Ghetto Mess)
Why is it that every time I attend a rap concert, I can’t leave without a contact high? I don’t know about y’all but at $250 a pop, I want to be perfectly sober so I don’t miss a thing.
Third Place HGM award: Girl with a tired weave who got drunk, spilled her drink, asked for another drink for free to replace the spilled drink then got upset when they refused. Anyway, drunk girl was wearing an Herve Lerger bandage wanna be dress with mesh cut outs. Midway through the show she stumbled out from her seat with her. . .wait for it . . .NIPPLE showing through one of the mesh cut outs. At first I thought my eyes were lying. They weren’t. The HGM was confirmed by other witnesses.

Second Place: Seat Sneakers

If you paid for the cheap seats, stay in your cheap seats. I didn’t pay my hard earned money for you and your synthetic Janet Jackson in Poetic Justice looking braids to block my view.

First Place: The Groupies
We know music and sporting events bring out the groupies in large numbers. However, if you’re trying to get chose by a real baller you should probably invest in better seats. I can promise you that no one anywhere near note worthy is seating in the 300 section at the Garden. If you paid under $100 for your ticket, just wear something sensible and comfortable. You’re going to need it for the endless escalators to get to your cheap seats.

A group of groupies were on their way out as I was leaving. Next thing you know, we see aforementioned groupies in their faux fur, half naked and turned over shoes jumping, yes jumping a guy in the middle of 7th avenue as the light was turning green. Of course they got swarmed by cops after trying to run them. Why can’t people leave the ‘hood in the ‘hood for just one night? I know why! They’re niggas in midtown. . .
Overall I had a great time however I don’t know if I’ll be buying anymore Jay-Z tickets in the near future. The new seats and wider rows at the Garden are great but no opener and waiting for 2 hours is more than I would like to endure on a Monday night.

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