Dear Mariah, Stay a lady

Mariah & LaToya Married to Medicine

Hey Lovers! 

Yesterday I watched Married to Medicine to see the fight. I had no idea how epic the fight would be. The problem started because Ms. Mariah ‘I’m ill because I’m Married to a Bangladeshi Doctor’ Huq heard that Toya ‘I keep buying the wrong weave hair’ Bush-Harris told someone that Ms. Mariah isn’t as squeaky clean as she tries to portray because her husband isn’t her oldest child’s father. In fact, the child doesn’t even know that Dr. Bangladesh isn’t her daddy; scandalous, I know. 

Mariah & Toya see each other at a double birthday party for Mariah’s husband and another doctor. Mariah’s mother was there. I’m not in business of talking about people’s mamas but Ms. Lucy looks like she’s been on the hoe stroll since before Al Green got those grits thrown on him. Anyway, Ms. Lucy approached Toya throwing shade that only an old hoe could. Toya attempted to tell Mariah that she needed to check her mother. 

Instead of Mariah keeping it cute she decided to turn all the way up. That’s when next level fuckery broke out. Mariah & Toya tore up those White folks’ house. Glasses & fixtures were broken, edges & weaves were disrupted, it was just an all out mess. Instead of Ms. Lucy trying to break up the fight, she started hitting Toya with her clutch (told you she was an old hoe). 

Now that I’ve gotten you all caught up on what happened I have a message for Mariah. . . stay a lady. Mariah DM me @RantRaveRandom. It’s clear you’ve come from some far away gutter. What’s also clear is that you don’t want to return. I mean you’re running from your past so hard you won’t even admit you have an extra baby daddy. The next time you’re at an event telling people about your come up; I mean marriage. Just remember these 3 words “stay a lady.” I would say keep it cute but you’d probably say “she’s always cute” in a knock off Tamar voice and I certainly don’t have time for that. 

Side note: You started the fight and Toya won. What was the point? Now everyone thinks you’re tacky and everyone with eyes knows you can’t fight. Mariah, you have got to get better ideas. While you’re working on those ideas, please take my advice and stay a lady. 

Did you see the fight? What did you think? Comment below and let me know! 

Hood Tales

NYC (specifically Brooklyn) gives me so much entertainment I thought it’s only right I share few tales with you.

Metropolitan Bound M Train Myrtle Ave
Guy calls his Baby Mama’s new man. Baby Mama has moved on; Guy has not. The following rant ensued: “Stay there. I’m over there right now to ***k you up. You ain’t got nothing to say? Are you still there or did you hang up like a p*$$¥?” Take away: If you know your Baby Daddy is unstable you should probably keep your new relationship a secret unless your new man is more crazy.

Bushwick/Bed Stuy Border
Girl with newborn baby strapped to her and at least 1 other child tells Guy who never leaves the block about another girl who she’s quote “looking for.” “I told her as soon as I see her I’m gonna run up on her. I can’t have nobody sneaking me. I got kids to worry about.” Now do you agree that people should be licensed before they’re allowed to reproduce? If you see nothing wrong with this scene 2 things: 1. I dunno how you found my blog because it certainly isn’t intended for your kind and 2. Rule: Once you become a parent, the only fighting you should be doing is to protect your offspring.

Bushwick Ave.

Boy: Your dirty pu$$y, talking about you got a yeast infection Girl: Get the ***k outta my face with your uncircumcised *i**. Boy: That’s okay, you was still sucking it! Take away: Arguing about whose genitals are worse makes you both look filthy. Just be thankful someone got intimate with your nasty junk in the first place.

J Train Myrtle Ave.

Puerto Rican dude wearing Dickies on the phone. “Why should we split the stacks? Those are your boys. I can just rob them. I’ll pop ’em the foot. They’ll live. You down? I’ll make it look real. I’ll just graze you in the hand.” Rule: If you think it’s appropriate to discuss an armed robbery over the phone on a crowded train, just keep a commissary fund handy because you’re going to jail.

There are more tales to come. Have you ever witnessed such hot ghettomess? Let me know!