16 & Slow

On my way home I was greeted by news of last night’s 16 & Pregnant episode. The texts and Facebook comments could not convey the full scope of messiness in Briana’s episode. News of names such as Bliss being thrown around made me rush to my DVR. 

I’ll start by saying I had a bit of visceral reaction when I saw the preview. I thought to myself “just what we need MTV, another show about a Black baby born to an ill equipped teen mom.” Then I nearly had to tell myself to have several seats when I remembered that MTV brings us “messy” in all colors and shapes from Coast to Coast.

I kind of felt for Briana’s mom having another mouth to feed but let’s be honest; something went wrong in that family. Either both of those girls were absent on “Safe Sex” Day in health class or their mother never told them that NOT getting pregnant isn’t a magic trick.

Before I get into details about Briana can we discuss her sister Brittany? I absolutely loved Brittany. The scene where she went all the way in after Briana asked for beans (again) gave me life. I also loved the death glare she gave Devon, who we’ll discuss in a minute, when he finally had a minute to visit his daughter. I have a feeling Brittany is a good friend to have if you ever need to smack a hoe. 

Am I the only one who got the feeling Briana was a bit slow? I know she graduated high school early but there was something off with her. She had a very vacant glaze which I didn’t understand. The conversation with her friend about how her baby daddy should’ve been responsible for not getting her pregnant as if there was nothing within reason she could’ve done let me know for sure that she isn’t working with a full deck. I want Briana to get her life but getting a boring haircut isn’t the way. 

Nova Star is a cute baby however, that name is literally out of this world. Nova Star Dejesus is pretty high on the ‘resume “unfriendly” name’ list. How do I know this you ask? I’m a future lawyer named Shanique. Need I say I more on this point?  

Now on to the person who had my blood boiling. . .Baby Daddy Davon. If anyone knows Davon’s Twitter please leave it in the comments because he needs to know my thoughts. Every time they showed him, I wanted to knock the naps off of his head. Davon was slower than Briana because he thought his name could magically get on Baby Nova’s birth certificate without being there to sign. Briana’s mother is better than me because I would’ve attempted to knock the ash off of him when he showed up weeks after the baby was born, empty handed, with a friend and Ray-J’s kindergarten haircut. 

Let’s wrap because thinking about Davon is elevating my blood pressure and I don’t know how much more I can take. 

Am I the only one who caught how Briana’s mom tried to shade my beloved hometown, Brooklyn? Did she think parenting is easier in Florida than in Brooklyn? I’m guessing it’s the same $h!^ different weather.

What are your thoughts on last night’s mess? Let me know!

Sidenote: If you like this randomness, follow the Blog on Twitter @RantRaveRandom.  

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One thought on “16 & Slow

  1. Devon was slow as hell. My mother and I kept looking at the tv and we wanted to smack the sh!t out of him. And I was like the mother is clearly slow. How did both of your teen daughters get knocked up? smh

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