Happy New Year! One of my goals for 2017 is to read more. For Christmas, I got a Kindle. My first purchase was “We Should All Be Feminists” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Feminism has had more than 15 minutes of fame recently. Like most of the world, I first learned of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie when she was featured on Beyonce’s song “Flawless.” What I did not know was the excerpt we hear in “Flawless” was adopted from a TED Talk. Unlike most of the world, I prefer to read about things before I go labeling myself willy nilly.
As some of you may know, on September 22nd autumn began. While we’re already 1 month in, it has still be unseasonably warm (thank you Climate Change). Thinking about the impending temperature drop and upcoming holidays I began to think about things I’d rather not see anymore. Let’s discuss!
First on my list are talons/stiletto nails. Everyone from Beyonce, to Lady Gaga and Rihanna have rocked talons this year. While there are infinite numbers of ways to rock this shape of nail I’m over them. Unless you’re using your stiletto nails as actual weapons, I think we can all find another nail trend that doesn’t make people think we want to kill them by poking them in the eye.
Next on my list are, moccasins. At first glance I thought an insulated slipper would be a thing of the winter or fall however I was wrong. I never really understood the appeal of putting a barefoot into a fuzzy slipper on a warm day but hey, what do I know? Moccasins make great HOUSE slippers; on that, we can all agree. I have an idea, how about we all leave our house slippers, in the house?
I didn’t think that in 2012 we’d be discussing facial piercings but again, anything’s possible. Recently I saw one of my favorite Youtubers, a grown married mother, post a video about her new Marilyn Monroe piercing. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Facial piercings, really? You really couldn’t find something from early last decade to rehash and make you look immature at your son’s parent-teacher conference?
Poetic Justice braids were huge throughout the summer. Solange Knowles is responsible for bringing these braids back from the early 1990’s. She may not really be responsible but let’s just agree that for argument’s sake she is. The trend was cute for a second but people are now trying to differentiate their braids by making them bigger, longer and unconventional colors. While braids are great for giving your hair a break, I think we should allow these braids to rest in peace.
Last but not least, lace closures should leave us with the warm weather and I hope they never return. I don’t know who started this trend but it’s awful. Lace closures give you the look of a lace front with the hassle of a weave; basically, the worst of both worlds. I don’t care how many YouTubers make videos about bleaching the knots and using foundation or concealer to make it match your skin, they look horrible. Again, I know closures are for protection but an awkward fake hair line with naps creeping out from the perimeter are an eye sore. Let’s challenge ourselves to find another way to protect our hair without using closures which just end up looking like hats made of hair.
What would you like to expire with the warm weather? Comment below and let me know! Follow on Twitter @RantRaveRandom
Now that MTV, BET and VH1 are mostly out of the music business it’s rare that I see any videos. Over the weekend I came across Beyonce’s video for “Party” on the VH1 Top 20 Countdown. Of course after 1 second Beyonce managed to astonish me. No, I don’t mean by letting her sister get in the video with those Janet Jackson in Poet Justice braids, but that kind of offended my eyes too. The first line I remember was “I may be young but I’m ready.” It made me think, at what age can you no longer call yourself young? Beyonce is 30.
Obviously since living beyond 80 is no longer uncommon, 30 is not old but is it still young? As I write this, I’m starting to think maybe I over think pop music. Maybe the problem isn’t that a 30 year old woman is calling herself young. Maybe the problem is me, a person who thinks lyrics should make some kind of sense. I am just as befuddled now as I was when Mrs. Jay-Z made “single ladies.” As usual, I digress.
Back to the original topic. I was always told that you want to take of yourself while you are young so that you won’t look like an old shoe as age. We know that we’ll always be relatively young since there never seems to be a shortage of old people. I’ve witnessed women say things like “I’m not old, I’m 37.” I think to myself, “you may not be ‘old’ but young has left you too.” That might be mean of me but I’m still a work in progress. Pray for me.
I still really need to know. Is calling yourself young the way to make sure you are always as young as you feel? Or, is calling yourself young after 30 a stretch?