Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Season 5 Premiere Brain Drops


Hey Lovers, 

I know it’s been forever. I come to you as a humble servant of the Lord and ask for your forgiveness. Last night, I reluctantly watched the season premiere of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. After Ms. Mona disrespected with the last couple seasons of Love & Hip Hop. Keep reading for some of my thoughts. 

  • Why is K. Michelle playing with us? 1. I’m not calling her Kimberly. 2. She keeps reminding us what a “big star” she is, yet she’s back on Love & Hip Hop with Erica Mena tactics. 3. A1 might be on to something when he said she’s been blacklisted because why else would be back on Love & Hip Hop swinging IV poles? 4. I lived when she referred to A1 as the “man with the pearls” but seeing her back in the gutter isn’t what we want. We were all rooting for you (Tyra Banks’ voice).
  • I’m not interested in Princess’s baby, Ray-J maybe cheating or anything even tangentially related to either of those things; except Ms. Sonja Norwood. When she referred to Princess being Ray-J’s wife in air quotes, I lost it. She’s old Black Mama gold and I will never be convinced otherwise.
  • I knew I recognized Solo Lucci from somewhere. That place? My nightmares. If we never see his ghetto Tales from the Crypt lookin ass again, fine with me. Also, why was he on that coffee table performing a song no one knows?
  • We’ve seen strippers on VH1 before but they usually have a redeeming quality. Apple Watts looks like the girl who sells high quality knock offs at the hair salon. I don’t understand why she felt the need to tell us she’s from the trap as if anyone was at home like, I bet she’s from Beverly Hills.
  • Did Ms. Nikki Baby get demoted? Joseline is gone so she can’t be a lipstick lesbian. Masika appears to be gone too so there’s no one for her to call poor, yet.
  • They must’ve told Mr. Ray that Zelle wasn’t coming back. That’s the only reason why he felt safe enough to rock those braids.
  • I want Bridget Kelly off the show. She’s not doing anything other than looking old and trying too hard.
  • After I saw Safaree‘s nudes, I understood why Nicki has a song called “Anaconda.” Do you think Lyrica was really trying to find out if Safaree doesn’t like them bony and wants something he can grab?
  • I thought that the girls usually dress better over the seasons. However Lyrica saw it fit to wear those biker shorts in not one; but two scenes. She clearly didn’t watch Basketball Wives. Remember when D Wade’s BM’s sister got super roasted for wearing biker shorts at that winery?
  • The only way I want Boobie to return is if he doesn’t talk (or he got speech therapy).
  • At first I didn’t want to see Teairra Mari again but this revenge porn story might actually be kind of interesting.
  • Moneice has got to find something to do other than be crazy because there’s no way I’m going to watch 14 weeks of “I’m a mother first but also my son doesn’t live with me.”
  • Right now, I’m rooting for Paris. It’s mainly because I always root for New Yorkers (at first) but it’s also because she called Brandy Moesha with a straight face. She does Fat Friend the right.

Did you watch last night? What did you think? Comment below and let me know!

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