Definitions Optional

Over the last few days, I’ve began to notice an alarming trend. People have been totally disregarding the meaning of words and phrases which have meanings; unambiguous meanings. This, we must discuss.

Did you all catch last night on Love & Hip Hop when Karline said she “put Benzino on?” Did they change the meaning of “put on” while I was studying for the bar exam? Put on means to upgrade or make someone relevant. Last I checked Karline and those tired bottom teeth, haven’t put on anyone. Well…I’m sure there are some tired, washed up, hoes who saw Karline and now believe they too can have the chance to smash someone who used to own something that was popular but we’re not discussing people who were in the “slow class.”

Also, last night on Love & Hip Hop, Stevie’s newest thirst-bucket claimed she was “official.” Excuse me hood version of Kat Von D, if you were official you would be in the studio making music and not having some kind of tattoo trade off with Sleezo.

Over the weekend I told a friend she got caught slippin’. She denied that claim. However, she was doing something that resulted in an unflattering picture being taken. According to urban dictionary the definition of slippin’ is: not paying attention, or allowing someone to catch you off guard. I think doing something unflattering in a room full of people with camera phones is the definition of slippin. I could be wrong.

Republican Congressman Todd Akin said a woman can’t get pregnant as a result of “legitimate rape.” Excuse me Mr. Akin, please show me a case of illegitimate rape. I thought all rape by definition was legitimate but in Mr. Akin’s world, there are unacceptable versions of rape. I guess having taken biology is not a requirement to becoming a member of the Congressional Science Committee.

People have called current VP nominee Paul Ryan “young.” He’s 42 years old. I thought 40’s were considered middle aged but as a member of a party who nominated someone over 60 to be President, I guess Ryan is “young.” Under the GOP definition I must be a teenager.  

Thinking of these instances I began to wonder, is the dictionary or social definition of a word/phrase now optional? Can we all say whatever we want without regard for its undisputed meaning? While it might be confusing, I think this may be a good thing. I’m going to try it right now. . .

I’m tall. Forget the fact I’m only 5’4

I’m skinny. Never mind the fact the last dress I wore is a size 12.

I am not allergic to peanuts, I just have life threatening anaphylaxis whenever I eat anything containing peanuts.

That felt kind of good, I must admit but I really do hope this trend does not take off. No one could ever have a conversation. Imagine your friend saying “please lend me $500.” Now, it’s now tax refund time and you want to be repaid. Your friend tells you when they said “lend” they did not mean it on the basis that “lend/loan” means they must repay you. That would be a nightmare. The crime rate would skyrocket and the calls to The People’s Court and Judge Judy would increase tenfold.

I think we should stick to the established and accepted definitions in efforts to avoid side eyes at best and bullets at worst.

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One thought on “Definitions Optional

  1. Pingback: Bad Girls? « Rants Raves & Randoms

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