Caught Phrases

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and a phrase (or several) raised your antennae?  I’m going to give you a few phrases that should raise your suspicions immediately.

  • When I get my tax refund” This attempt at the okie doke has probably been around as long as the IRS has existed. If someone claims they are going to gift, loan or repay you anything with their tax refund; FORGET IT! Anyone who treats a tax refund like the lotto probably shouldn’t be trusted. Avoid this phrase at all costs. It’ll bring you nothing but a let down. 
  • Settlement”  Talks of a “settlement” are probably the only thing less reliable than the statement about tax refund money. I’ve heard many people claim they were going to buy a house in Florida, get a car or start a business after they got their “settlement.” You don’t have to be a former psychic friend to guess that those same people were still taking the train to the place they had been living and owned little more than the clothes they were wearing. If someone comes to you with a settlement story let them know they’re an amateur and as a result of reading this you’re un-okiedokeable
  • The haters. . .” It’s 2012. If you can’t give me specific names and alleged wrong doings save your story for someone who has more time than me. Anyone who is doing anything mildly respectable in life has haters. If you’re really real there’s no need to discuss these people frequently. If you’re living right the “haters” will always be there. 
  • I was in school for. . .” This phrase usually precedes a sad story about getting knocked up or not realizing tuition is due yearly. If you need inspiration, download Kanye West’s “College Dropout” and try to come up with a plan. 
  • We need to talk” This usually means “we need to talk about something you don’t want to talk about.” 
  • I thought we were friends/cool, etc. . .” If you need to say this to someone; don’t. You needing to ask is evidence that you’re not really friends, cool or really anything with the party to whom you’re saying this. If you ever feel the need to utter this phrase end it with “but I see we’re not” and treat the recipient like a stranger. Stranger may be a little harsh but hey, it’s a cold world.   

What are other phrases we need to watch for? Let me know! 

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