Saturday, a student at my job had to bring in a robot baby as part of her school’s “don’t end up 16 & pregnant” initiative. She had to leave class during a quiz because Robo Baby started crying. The cry is a recording of an actual baby, by the way. I had no choice but to try to help. I wanted to help not because she had been up all night and the look of desperation on her face but because Robo Baby was extra loud and I am not for high school health projects giving me headaches.

Not wanting her to miss too much class time I offered to “babysit” Robo Baby. In addition to crying when it’s hungry, needs a diaper change or just wants to be held; Robo Baby has the nerve to be the weight of a real baby. After spending approximately half hour with Robo Baby, I realized that Robo Baby is effective not only for deterring teen pregnancy; it worked to deter me too. The level of frustration and helplessness I felt while trying to keep Robo Baby quiet is almost too much to put into words.

All I know is that if Robo Baby is anything like a real baby, I learned I am currently NOT for motherhood or anything resembling it.